I went to school to get the grades, got the job to get the pay, got the house, got the spouse… clearly, I didn’t have a problem with willpower or fortitude. So, why couldn’t I feel joy when I looked into the mirror? Why didn’t the person who was ‘doing’ all these things feel worthy of the result?
The truth was, I was unhappy. I lacked confidence, struggled to accept my body and I felt like I was the only person in the room that was chronically locked in a battle with food that I could not win. I was watching so many of my family members fade away from me slowly as their health declined, and whether I wanted to admit it or not… I was headed for the same future.
While from the outside, my life appeared to be everything a young professional could hope for, the reality was that I was tired, slow and my overall sense of self was mediocre at best. Combined with my guilt over not being able to successfully claw my health and diet into my control, I began to focus on getting through each day by any means possible. Greater aspirations to feel happy, healthy and in control slipped further from my grasp. After all, I had tried so many different tools, resources and programs to help me control what I was putting into my body and, still, I battled with food and health day-in and day-out. It wasn’t until I got up close and personal with my discontent that I realized: this wasn’t really about food at all. This was about a void in me that reached to food for comfort.
Years later, as a health and diet coach, I can look back at this difficult time in my life from an experienced vantage point and understand the flaws in my thinking. Like so many of us, I looked to willpower as the quality that would get me closer to an empowered life. Rather than listen to what my body was ‘saying’ to me, I pushed harder in the wrong direction… leaving me disillusioned and hopeless. Just like the many women I currently coach, I was so busy doing for others (spouse, kids, boss, family, friends etc.) that taking a more calculated approach to achieving the results I wanted NOW seemed like moving backward and I didn’t think I had the time.
But what if we had a place to go where our bodies most fundamental needs, cares and concerns that are running in the background got a moment to be heard and felt?
When we treat ourselves with as much compassion and respect as we treat others, we can stop living through the filter that our inner-self casts over our experience. Suddenly, we know ourselves. We know how to listen to our bodies, and we know how to respond in a way that promotes wellness. Often, it isn’t until we are on the other side of the battle that we see why our previous efforts weren’t working. The solution is found by starting at the beginning and really understanding what it means to put yourself first, for your benefit and the benefit of your relationships. Modelling self-respect and self-compassion and replacing thought barriers with new ways of thinking about yourself and your relationship to the world is where true transformation begins.
I started True to You to help other women who struggle to feel good in their bodies the way that I did. My philosophy as a life and health coach is that we can’t deal solely with parts of your lifestyle and health that aren’t working – because they are secondary to the foundational problem. We have to deal with the whole person to unpack the complexity and get to the source of the true barriers to success. With the True to You method, you gain power over your mind. Together, we develop new thoughts, patterns and beliefs that support and empower you to live a life of joy, free from cycles of guilt and shame. My name is Jessica, and I want to help you get there.
Listen to learn more about me and what True To You Health Coaching is all about!